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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053255">Meal or Mate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas'>PatchworkIdeas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WinterFRE 2020 [27]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Hobbit - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Creepy, Especially so in Cross-Species Relationships, From the incredible LegolasLovely!, Happy Ending, Intention of Eating Someone Alive, M/M, Now with gorgeous artwork!, POV Monster, Supernatural romance, communication is important</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:21:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is hungry, but fascinating prey is so rare.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WinterFRE 2020 [27]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>GatheringFiKi - Winter FRE 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Written for Prompt Nr.23:<br/>They drew lines and symbols all over his body. He knew he was the sacrifice.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cave brightens, a cone of light flooding the specially prepared chamber. Kili has been waiting for it, waiting for so long. He is hungry. They are late, and he had considered breaking their carefully kept agreement, but his waiting has paid off.<br/>
He isn’t patient, but he can be.</p><p>He hears the struggle at the top, far, far above the ground, grunts and pants and screams. This one is loud.</p><p>This one will be fun.</p><p>His anticipation rises, the fear reaching his senses like fine wine, even down here. He is hungry, doesn’t want to wait, but not hunting what promises to be such a tasty morsel feels like such a waste.</p><p>Maybe a compromise.</p><p>The figure plummets, thrown by the hands that feed him, and lands in the carefully prepared nest.</p><p>It’s a long fall. It wouldn’t do if it broke before he had his fun.</p><p>But something is off. His prey isn’t only late - it’s fully clothed, and bound as well.</p><p>The impact has stolen the air out of its lungs, but Kili expects it to start wriggling like a worm any minute now.</p><p>He’s insulted.</p><p>Do they think him so weak he can’t hunt his own prey? Just because they were late? And they haven’t even prepared it this time! No sauce stains its skin in artful swirls, designed to entice him. Not much skin is shown at all.</p><p>If this is their attempt at placating him for their delay, they are doing a shoddy job.</p><p>Regardless, he is hungry.</p><p>He pulls closer, all around, but careful not to let his body into the slowly shrinking light.<br/>
His tongue tastes the air, intent to at least feast on its fear, but even that is muted.<br/>
Not by resignation. By determination, thoughts racing.<br/>
The body is still, but the mind is not.</p><p>Interesting.</p><p>Kili can see its hands twitch, tiny movements, trying to undo the bonds holding it.<br/>
The ropes are strong, it will not succeed.<br/>
It stares into the darkness, golden head unmoving, but eyes alert, roaming about.<br/>
This is no mouse. Kili licks his lips.<br/>
There’s nothing like the thrill of hunting a predator.</p><p>Still, Kili’s no fool.</p><p>He checks for weapons first, for the stench of metal and death, and finds one, two, three, tiny, hidden within the folds of it’s clothes.</p><p>Kili’s getting more and more unhappy with his servants by the minute.<br/>
Maybe he would need to go on a real hunt again, just to remind them why they should feed him properly instead.</p><p>His fine, long fingers gracefully divest the morsel of its artificial claws, the body going rigid underneath his feather-light touches.</p><p>There’s the fear.<br/>
It’s delicious.</p><p>It’s still not enough.</p><p>Toying with the last dagger, a finely crafted piece, almost a work of art, Kili considers, before making his move, lightning quick.</p><p>The bonds fall away under the sharp blade and he wonders how it would feel to brush the tip of it over his prey's skin, just enough to raise fine lines all over it’s body. Just enough to make his intentions clear.<br/>
How would his prey feel, to be cut by its own teeth, to have the sting of its own weapon biting into its skin, preparing it for its devoural.<br/>
Would it know fear then?<br/>
True fear?</p><p>Kili swallows, saliva and venom already gathering.<br/>
First, he would have to divest it of its clothes of course, pesky wrapping keeping him from his price.</p><p>His prey slowly moves its arms and legs under it, raising into an upright position with exaggerated care.<br/>
It doesn’t panic. It doesn’t look around.<br/>
Kili doesn’t even have to move his upper body out of the light to remain hidden, still in his prey’s blind spot. </p><p>Why does it not act like prey?</p><p>It so obviously is, and it must know it, for how hard it fought not to be delivered to its doom.</p><p>Some don’t know, and letting them work it out by themselves, making their fate clear bit by bit, can be as fun as any hunt.</p><p>It’s as good a tactic as any. His prey still refuses to run after all.</p><p>Not that it would get far.<br/>
But it’s the thought that counts, really.</p><p>He glides closer, lets his breath stir the golden hair, raise fine goosebumps all over its body. It’s a shame he can’t see it under all the fabric, but he knows the reaction all to well.</p><p>It doesn’t twist around.<br/>
Its breath sets out for just the tiniest of seconds, almost unnoticeable, before continuing, calm and measured.</p><p>It’s infuriating.</p><p>He nuzzles closer, chasing a reaction, any reaction, until they are cheek to cheek, the tip of his tongue entering its view when he tastes the air.</p><p>Hands shoot out, strong fingers grazing his neck.<br/>
Kili is faster, and out of the predators reach before it can find purchase.</p><p>Not declawed then.<br/>
It’s rare to find prey these days that doesn’t require its artificial weaponry.<br/>
Kili grins.</p><p>“Well, well, there's some life in you after all.” He purrs, studying his opponent from a safe distance.</p><p>Close enough to unnerve. Not close enough to allow harm to come to him.</p><p>His adversary doesn’t try, just studies him, eyes intent.<br/>
Waiting for his next move.</p><p>Time to play then.</p><p>“You know why you are here, do you not? What you are...” Kili lets just enough of his body into the light to show a hint of scales, just for a second, a distraction.</p><p>It doesn’t take.</p><p>The blue eyes never leave his.</p><p>The silence stretches, and Kili grows annoyed at its lack of reaction, its lack of doing anything it’s supposed to.<br/>
He is hungry, and his prey is no fun.<br/>
Perhaps it realizes his impatience, for it finally answers, jaws tight, but voice calm and serene:<br/>
“I know who and what I am. I doubt you do the same.”  </p><p>Not the direction he would have chosen, but truly, the boredom is worse than his hunger anyway. This conversation might bring him joy for years to come, long after its bones had cracked and its taste was nothing more than a faded memory.<br/>
Kili savored every part of the hunt, not just the eating part.</p><p>“Oh? Introductions are in order then, I suppose? So that I may know the name of the prey that fills my belly? That screams while I eat it alive?”</p><p>Its lips press together, just that bit, gone as soon as it appears. It’s trying to play it off, trying to keep its wits.<br/>
It’s such fascinating prey.</p><p>“I am neither your prey, nor your predator. I am an opportunity. If you eat me, I will be your last meal. If you help me, you will feast.”</p><p>Riddles.<br/>
Kili hates riddles.<br/>
Why does everyone think all monsters love riddles?</p><p>“How about I fuck you then? Pound you until your meat is nice and tender, and eat you when you beg for it? Piece by piece, while my venom flows through your veins, keeps you alive for it all? What then? Spare me your riddles, dwarf. Entertain me or don’t, but speak plain.”</p><p>There, a reaction, skin growing pale, breath speeding up.<br/>
But it catches itself, swallows, squares its shoulders.</p><p>“I am Fili, Crown Prince of Erebor. The usurpers have killed my uncle and king, the hand that fed you. They will not feed you again, have plans to close every entrance to your lair while you rest from your meal.<br/>
Help me take back what’s mine, and you will know no hunger, or boredom, as long as I live.”</p><p>Kili tastes the air, just a hint of uneasiness settling under his skin.<br/>
He finds no deceit.<br/>
The little princeling believes his words.</p><p>Well.<br/>
That would explain some things.<br/>
And Kili had really looked forward to eating him, too.</p><p>He lets his coils slip into the light, surrounding the prince and showing off his body in all its splendor.<br/>
Kili has grown big and strong, and if he needs to negotiate new terms, he will not settle for anything less than he deserves.</p><p>He looks Fili over, letting his gaze wander slowly up and down, before drawing closer again. ”Well, Fili, what exactly are you offering me then? To give you back your kingdom?”</p><p>Kili doesn’t much care for riches, or material goods - more for food and plenty of opportunities to sharpen his skills, both body and mind.<br/>
But there’s one thing he wants, one thing he refuses to go without.<br/>
Fili is his. If he can't eat his heart, he won't accept anything less than having all of it.</p><p>And perhaps, if Fili proves he can grow to love a monster, Kili might even give him his own in return.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Now with gorgeous <a href="https://legolaslovely.tumblr.com/post/630519870044405760/k%C3%ADli-from-meal-or-mate-by-patchworkideas-i">artwork </a> by the incredible <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegolasLovely">LegolasLovely</a>! Thank you so much, so much! <i>*twirls happily*</i><br/>Please go and have a look it's absolutely <i>perfect</i>! ❤️</p><p>-</p><p>There's just so much that can be done with this prompt X-D<br/>My deepest thanks to the prompter!</p><p>Also, in the time it took to edit this, I wrote two more chapters for it.<br/>As I still have some Raffle stories to put up it might take a bit to polish and post them, but.... <i>*shrug*</i> I like this idea? And all the ways I can play with it? Don't think this one is going to get very big, but as I originally thought it was a one-shot, what do I know? X-D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is not what Fili has expected.</p><p>Of course, with how his life has been going these past months, nothing has gone as expected. This at least is not an unpleasant surprise.</p><p>“Where’s your tail?”</p><p>The question slips out anyway, and Fili curses himself, wants to blame long meetings and interrogations, the ongoing search of flushing out the last of the traitors to prevent another coup. </p><p>He knows better. He has been getting too comfortable around Kili, despite knowing what he is, seeing it everyday.<br/>
Kili is a monster, deadly, cruel, loves to play with his prey.<br/>
But he’s also charming, playful, all but cuddly at times.<br/>
There is never a dull moment with him, sharp mind and sharper tongue, and yet he never lies, as far as Fili can tell.</p><p>There is a good chance that Kili is still playing with him, seducing him, hunting him.</p><p>And yet, Fili can’t help but believe the quiet moments, the softness in the monster’s eyes, the devotion he sees there. Kili is obsessed with him, no doubt about it, certain that Fili belongs to him. And yet, he can go where and when he pleases, can do what he wants even if he has to endure Kili’s nagging warnings - which aren’t without merit, most of the time. Kili claims him, and yet doesn’t bind him.</p><p>It makes no sense.</p><p>Kinda like what he’s seeing right now.</p><p>“I know my coils are beautiful, and I can call them back if you prefer, but I thought you might be more… interested… this way.”</p><p>Interested.</p><p>Kili is lying on top of his bed, naked, nothing but candle light illuminating his frame. His <i>human</i> frame. Legs and-</p><p>Fili looks away, blushing against his will.</p><p>That’s been the most overt gesture so far.<br/>
He’s not stupid, Kili’s flirting hasn’t gone over his head - or left him cold for that matter. Kili seems to have a nag for finding just the right words to make him laugh, just the right actions to make him blush, just the right gestures to make him wonder, sometimes long for more.</p><p>Kili is a monster, but he doesn’t look like one. And unless Fili deliberately asks for the monster, needs information or someone hunted down, Kili doesn’t act like it around him anymore either.</p><p>They are mates, as Kili loves to remind him.<br/>
The one term of negotiation that Kili wouldn't budge on.<br/>
Fili hadn’t wanted to be bound to a monster, feared what it would mean, but what choice did he have?</p><p>And yet.</p><p>Fili sits on the edge of the bed, still not looking at Kili - as enticing as he is, as much as his own body reacts by now, after months of Kili relentlessly pursuing him.<br/>
He bites his lips, shakes his head, body rigid. Kili’s hands, so strong despite their fragile look, land on his shoulders, massaging the knots away.<br/>
It’s not the first time he does it. Kili loves touching him. Loves how he slowly relaxes, let’s his guard down.<br/>
The breath on his neck never fails to raise goosebumps on his skin, and he doesn’t move away from the feather light kisses on his throat.</p><p>He doesn’t move into them either.</p><p>Kili hums, finishing his massage only to embrace him from behind instead. When he pulls him down to the bed, spooning him, Fili goes willingly, but makes no move to touch him.</p><p>They settle like that, Kili wrapped around him, even with his legs instead of tail, and Fili breathes, tries not to give in, tries not to want to.<br/>
He fears what would happen if he does.</p><p>Fili knows by now that Kili might push at his boundaries, but he won’t break them.<br/>
Kili wants him, owns him by right, and yet has not taken him.<br/>
Not yet. Not until Fili wants it.</p><p>Fili shouldn’t want it.</p><p>And yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“No.”</p><p>The fangs still, just before sinking into his skin.</p><p>Fili breathes. The fangs don’t leave, and neither does the body pressing him into the sheets, but they don’t move further either.</p><p>“I have kept our arrangement. I thought… I am your mate, not your meal. Get your fangs off my throat.”</p><p>Fili can feel the sigh more than he can hear it, a warm gust of air on vulnerable skin, but Kili complies, and rolls off Fili in the same movement as he withdraws his teeth.</p><p>Fili breathes easier, but he’s still aware of the monster in his bed. They don’t touch, Kili has made sure of that, but he can see the way his jaw is clenched, and how he has draped his arm over his eyes, not looking at him.</p><p>“You are angry with me. Why?”</p><p>He tries to keep his words calm and collected. Tries to pretend he didn’t almost get eaten when he had expected to spend a night being taken care of, all but pampered by his unusual mate.</p><p>Kili had waited for him. Not exactly silently, but he had waited.<br/>
It had been worth it. Fili doesn’t know where Kili honed his skills, doesn’t want to know, but he has them.<br/>
Fili had been starting to look forward to this.<br/>
Kili had promised him a treat, a night to remember.<br/>
Kili is a lot of things, but he’s not a liar.<br/>
So why?</p><p>“I’m not angry.” Kili starts slow and clearly, “I’m frustrated.”</p><p>“I would prefer if we kept our mating and your … meals, strictly separated. If you are hungry, we can get you something to eat.”</p><p>Kili gets easily frustrated when he’s hungry. Fili thought he had been feeding him enough, has been feeding him more than his late uncle ever had, but he worries what will happen if Kili just asks for more and more. He has plenty of enemies right now, but those are eventually going to run out.</p><p>“I’m <i>frustrated.</i> Not hungry. You said you wanted this. That you trusted me.”</p><p>Fili sits up, faster than he should probably, always aware of the predator by his side. “When exactly did I agree to being <i>prey.</i> You said you wanted to show me your love, to take care of me. I hadn’t expected you to take me out for dinner but nothing about that says I would <i>be</i> dinner.”<br/>
He can’t quite keep the tremble out of his voice, and he hates himself for it. He’s not scared, not as such, but he’s angry, the broken trust like jagged pieces between them.</p><p>Kili hisses, but keeps his eyes covered, not reacting to his movement.</p><p>It makes Fili angry. Angrier. If they are going to have a fight, a big one, by the feel of it, Kili at least should have the decency to look at him. Kili has never looked away from him before. </p><p>Kili also hasn’t tried to eat him for a long time.</p><p>“Look at me!” It’s Fili who hisses this time, hand reaching out to pull Kili’s arm away. It’s not smart, but nothing about this relationship has ever been smart and he had been stupid enough to believe it could be more than just-</p><p>“No.” </p><p>Fili’s hand is hooked like a claw around Kili’s forearm when he stops. He doesn’t let go, just let’s the word echo through his mind, settle.</p><p>Kili has never, not once, told him ‘no’ before.</p><p>It’s odd to realize, especially angry as he is, but he makes himself let go, finger by finger. Kili has done a lot of things. He has never ignored Fili’s boundaries.</p><p>Fili breathes.</p><p>A part of him wants to just storm out of the room, hopes for a good evening dashed. But, in this moment, as angry as he still is, he is suddenly clearly aware that Kili has never turned his back on him. Fili had thought it was a power play, wants to keep thinking it’s nothing but a power play. A sign of control.<br/>
Fili has walked away several times. Kili has let him.</p><p>Fili doesn’t feel he is in control, never has. But maybe he has more power than he realized.</p><p>Fili pulls his legs beneath him and considers the being he shares his life and bed with.</p><p>Kili’s jaw is still clenched. His legs have disappeared, replaced by the long coils. It’s strange. Has it really been so long since he has seen them last?</p><p>Fili breathes, wants to choose his words, steady his voice. Cold, emotionless. That’s what has kept him alive. That’s the difference between prey and partner.</p><p>Partner.</p><p>“What’s wrong? What just happened?” He asks instead, worry leaking into his voice.</p><p>He wants to lay a hand on Kili’s arms, warm fingers instead of claws, but doesn’t think it would be welcomed.</p><p>“I tried to make love to you, take care of you. Make you feel good in the best way I know how. You still think I will eat you. You say you trust me, but you lie.” There’s a tremble in the jaw while Kili speaks, fine, barely noticeable, but there.<br/>
“You are the first to ever deceive me. Congratulations.” Kili’s laugh is self depreciating, hollow. His tongue doesn’t slip out, doesn’t check the air, the emotions he can so easily read normally. Kili’s jaw is clenched again.</p><p>Fili’s heart sinks. His anger had felt right, justified. Still does. A part of him still whispers ‘he’s playing you, don’t become prey’, like it has been whispering since he first fell.<br/>
It’s been a year now.<br/>
Fili said he trusted Kili.<br/>
He hadn’t realized he was lying.</p><p>The silence lengthens, shapes into one of those moments, possible futures opening up before his mind’s eyes.</p><p>Kili accepts his ‘no’.<br/>
Always has.</p><p>Kili will leave.</p><p>Fili had thought he was trapped, for the rest of his life, his freedom and heart being the price for his kingdom. But hadn’t he been free? Hadn’t his heart and body been his to give?<br/>
Kili has given him his.<br/>
Fili hasn’t returned the favor.<br/>
He hasn’t kept his side of the deal.</p><p>Kili has every right to kill him.<br/>
Fili, in a sudden fit of clarity, realizes he won’t.<br/>
Not tonight. </p><p>Fili looks over Kili, really looks, the monstrous body still and limp. Giant coils, many times his own size. Claws, long and thin, hiding the strength he knows lie within. Toned, beautiful body and face, designed to lure people in, make them want to stay, make them want to be eaten whole, to give their everything away.</p><p>Can Fili trust him?<br/>
Can Fili trust that this isn’t just another part of the hunt?<br/>
Can Fili trust that Kili isn’t just playing with him?</p><p>And yet, that certainty, fed by the very defeat of Kili’s posture doesn’t leave.<br/>
If he doesn’t say something now, Kili will be gone.<br/>
Fili will have won.<br/>
Kili has declared him the winner.</p><p>It doesn’t feel like winning.<br/>
It doesn’t feel like getting rid of the monster he somehow has to feed.<br/>
It doesn’t feel like freedom.</p><p>It just feels like regret.</p><p>Fili can taste it, at once heavy on his tongue and unsure what to do about it.</p><p>He doesn’t want Kili to leave.<br/>
He had told himself he did, given himself up grudgingly. Willingly, but each time had felt like a defeat, even when Kili made him feel good and loved and cherished in a way Fili hadn’t expected, hadn’t known how to accept.</p><p>Kili loves him.<br/>
Fili knows he’s free, realizes he has the choice, has been released from what had felt like a lifetime sentence.<br/>
He doesn’t want to be.<br/>
He wants Kili.<br/>
He wants the monster that laughs while it plays with his enemies, gives him broken bones and information as if they are pearls and jewels.<br/>
He wants the person that argues with him, keeps him on his toes, keeps him smart and entertained and interested.<br/>
He wants the heart that loves him, the careful fingers, the massages after a long day, the listening ear, the warm, if blunt words, the kisses at all the spots he loves and never thought he would, the intensity that lets him know he is Kili’s whole world. Nothing comes close, nothing else mattering.<br/>
It had felt like possession, ownership.</p><p>Fili is such a fool.</p><p>He shifts, body stretching, keeping himself suspended over Kili, hands on either side of his head, legs on either side of his tail, close enough to feel the warmth, not close enough to touch. Kili loved to do that to Fili. It had always felt crowded, like he was caged. Fili hadn’t realized how much control and strength it takes not to touch accidentally, to keep just the right distance.<br/>
Kili has said no.<br/>
Fili will adhere to it.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He whispers as close to Kili’s ear as he can get, with the arm still in the way. It’s a poor imitation of what Kili does to him, but he tries.<br/>
It’s the first time he tries, the first time he apologizes, and he can only hope it’s not too late.</p><p>Kili stiffens beneath him. Fili feels something that might be Kili’s tongue, out but not touching, or might just be his imagination. Kili’s arm moves, exaggeratedly slowly, to his side, taking care not to brush Fili’s skin on the way. Kili’s eyes remain closed. His body remains still.<br/>
Fili lowers himself further, arms shaking from the strain, fits their bodies together without touching at all.<br/>
He waits for a sign, a clue that it’s okay, anything at all, but he hasn’t paid much attention to what signals he had been sending before Kili touched him. He has never sent them consciously, as much as Kili’s touch hadn’t been unwelcome by the time it was given.<br/>
He sweats, muscles burning, thoughts racing. What else can he say? Those three words wouldn’t be right, not right now, not after this, not while Fili is begging for forgiveness for something he is just beginning to understand, but has not fully grasped yet.<br/>
What can he give? What can he do? What is he missing? Kili always whispers words into his ears, their breath at each other’s-</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Fili closes his eyes, inclines his head, and shows his throat.</p><p>It’s not the exact same position, but he doesn’t think he has enough strength and finesse left to lower himself further without touching Kili, to align them in a way that has them both whispering into each other’s ears, has both their throats bared.<br/>
How had he never realized that Kili was making himself just as vulnerable, was letting Fili at his throat.<br/>
Hadn’t he attacked Kili, too? Back then?</p><p>His prayers are answered. Kili raises both his head and arms, positioning him correctly at the same time his mouth finds Fili’s skin, two fangs pressing against skin. Fili doesn’t know if it’s intentional or his strength giving up on him, but he crashes against Kili’s body at the first touch, unable to hold the position any longer, and a strangled apology tries to leave his lips at the same time as two fangs enter his skin.<br/>
It’s the first time Kili has bitten him.</p><p>Fili holds still. Breathes. Pays attention, makes his muscles relax, one by one, baring his throat further. It’s terrifying, he can’t deny it, but he’s done running away. </p><p>The fangs leave, the tongue, so inhuman now that Kili isn’t pretending for his sake anymore, licking over the puncture wounds. He doesn’t feel blood rushing. Doesn’t even truly feel pain. He is lying on Kili, relaxed and accepting and unspeakably relieved.</p><p>Kili’s arms snake around his waist, and Kili explains what he shouldn’t have had to.<br/>
“My venom is an aphrodisiac. It prevents movement in higher doses, but mostly it enhances any and all sensations. I would have only given you a bit, just enough to make you feel good, to let you know what it’s like, so that you could have decided if you wanted more.”</p><p>Fili knows there is no venom in him now.</p><p>Kili could choose whether to inject it or not, just like he had perfect control over his body.<br/>
Fili rolls them over like Kili did, until they are lying side by side. Kili follows, reluctantly, but by then it’s too late to abort, to consider that maybe Kili only rolled them like that because of how uncomfortable Fili was with having Kili lie on him.<br/>
Fili has no idea how Kili’s kind mated, what Kili really liked. He hadn’t paid much attention, more concerned with his own life than what Kili might want or need.<br/>
With considering that Kili might have more wants and needs than just eating and fucking.<br/>
Kili has fallen for him regardless. Because Fili talks with him; accepts his touch, and, however grudgingly, has come to enjoy his presence.<br/>
How starved for positive attention must Kili have been, all those years in those tunnels? Nobody to talk to, nobody to spar with, nobody to love.<br/>
Just prey.</p><p>Fili closes his eyes, and Kili kisses the tears away.</p><p>“I’ll do better.” Fili whispers, a promise, freely given.<br/>
One he means to keep.</p><p>Kili chuckles. Fili can’t tell if Kili believes him.<br/>
So he asks.</p><p>The smile is wild and wide and Fili feels the arms tighten around him in a hug. He mirrors the movement.</p><p>“Now I do.” There is joy and love and something that might be hope in those suddenly all too human eyes.</p><p>Fili has a lot of things to ask, to make up for.<br/>
Kili has never lied, never not answered.<br/>
It’s time Fili asks.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kili has to remind himself not to eat his mate.</p><p>As infuriating, frustrating and annoying as he can be.</p><p>Kili has been hunting this prey for months now. The head of the conspiracy, the cowardly predator who has other’s kill for him.<br/>
Who has tried to kill his mate. And not even for eating.</p><p>And yet, here’s his fascinating, stubborn and ridiculous mate, keeping him from the hunt.</p><p>“He’s dangerous. You aren’t exactly a secret anymore - he’s going to have defenses up against you.”</p><p>When Fili finally gave him his heart for real, and not pretend, Kili was overjoyed. The chase had been glorious and his mate worth the wait, as fascinating and exceptional as Kili had hoped for - and quite good in the nest, too.</p><p>And yet, now that his mate is finally, truly his, body, mind and spirit, as he should be, as is Kili’s due, Fili doesn’t trust his abilities anymore.</p><p>Going from one doubt to another. First Fili wouldn't stop believing Kili to be dangerous to him - which was both insulting and smart. Kili is still hunting him in a way after all. Kili never stops hunting in one sense or another - he is a predator. But to think he would end it with eating Fili as prey is demeaning.<br/>
(In other ways, though, Kili has every intention still of eating his mate. Everyday, if Fili will let him. Pleasure screams are delicious too.)</p><p>Yet, now Fili believes him to be declawed. And that is a lot more insulting. He has hunted plenty. He always succeeds in the end, too.</p><p>Kili adores his mate and how life never gets dull with him - but Fili can be an idiot. No way around it. How is a being so stupid, to not see his obvious skill, still able to hold his interest this way?</p><p>Kili reminds himself of pleasure cries, the thrill of hunting Fili’s tail, of conversations and banter that have chased away the loneliness and boredom, and swallows the urge to eat his dumbass of a mate.</p><p>He tries to leave, no intention of answering a ridiculous and false statement like that, except that his mate rushes ahead of him, blocking the door. The “Kili, I’m serious!” doesn’t lift his mood any. He could rush past him, but he’s a hunter, not a coward, and he refuses to act like it. He doesn’t flee from anything, much less his mate.</p><p>Instead, he coils his tail beneath him, raising up and leaning over Fili, intent to make him flinch, maybe even push him against the wall, both chase and rebuttal.</p><p>Fili doesn’t blink, not even when Kili hisses, slitted tongue only inches from his face.<br/>
In a way, his mate was a lot more fun when Fili still thought Kili might eat him.</p><p>“Do not insult me by implying I can’t hunt a predator. By implying I am <i>weak</i>. He is <i>my</i> prey, he is <i>mine</i> to hunt, to kill and to devour. Your senseless worry only insults us both.” Kili hisses, keeping eye contact, hoping his idiot mate will finally get the point.</p><p>His mate closes his eyes, ending the battle and yet not giving up. Fili lives by different rules, and Kili has grown to know them, but he will never agree with them. You do not look away unless you forfeit. Not seeing your adversary is the same as letting them kill you.<br/>
And yet, his mate still intends to fight, even when he isn’t looking at him.</p><p>It had been more charming in prey.</p><p>“I worry because I care, Kili. I don’t want to see you hurt. I don’t want to have you taken from me. We know his location thanks to you, know he’s trapped. Let the guards take care of him, that’s what they are for. The hunt is over.”</p><p>Kili hisses in anger, accompanied by a low growl from deep within his chest.</p><p>“I will do a lot for you, but I will not give up my prey. <i>He is mine.</i>”</p><p>“As am I.” A warm hand on his chest, eyelids lowered in that weird way Fili had started to wear whenever he started a hunt of his own. “You can still eat him when he is brought in, after a more interesting evening. Stay with me tonight.”</p><p>Fili is infuriating.</p><p>The ploy is obvious. His mate isn’t even trying to hide his goal. There’s neither finesse nor honesty in the offer itself.<br/>
But the implications are clear. Stay and get to both fuck and eat - or leave and get to hunt and eat, but not to fuck. Probably for a long time, considering how stubborn his mate can be. </p><p>Kili doesn’t understand his mate. Fili must know that there is no better time to fuck then after a hunt. Especially a dangerous one.</p><p>“I don’t eat dead prey. If you are so uncertain of my skills,” Kili throws the words out like a curse, rotten on his tongue, “then come and hunt with me. Let me remind you that you have a predator as mate, not a <i>pet</i>. I will more than make up for the delay when we celebrate after feasting.”</p><p>It’s a generous offer, to share a hunt, especially for prey he has been pursuing for so long now. Fili will most likely not accept it. Pity. It has been too long since he could admire his mates claws in action, instead of in training.  </p><p>“And I’m not in the habit of fucking on the corpses of my enemies. We know he has laid deliberate traps against you. For once in your life, let me protect <i>you</i>. Am I your mate, your equal, or not?”</p><p>He both loves and hates it when Fili is hunting him. His mate is finally picking up cues, learning and adjusting, wanting to stand as Kili’s equal. The way he insists on doing it is just frustrating though. And stupid. </p><p>It’s also unfortunately working.</p><p>Not because Kili isn’t able to take the hunt - he has no doubt he can - but because his mate is finally acting as a mate, even if in a stupid and unnecessary way, and he wants to encourage that. Wants Fili to stay by his side as his partner and equal. Wants all of Fili.<br/>
That unfortunately includes this idiocy.<br/>
Still. He has a reputation. It is not one of being a damsel.</p><p>“I could evade the traps without trouble. They wouldn't catch me.” Kili states, upper body now on Fili’s level, eye to eye.</p><p>“You could.” Fili agrees readily enough.</p><p>“I could hunt, and kill and feast without him ever touching, or even seeing me.”</p><p>“I have no doubt about that.” The lowered eyelids again. At least Fili isn’t looking away this time. Kili will get used to his mates signs someday, even if they aren’t his.</p><p>“He is no danger to me. I am the apex predator in this mountain. Always have, always will be.”</p><p>“You certainly are. But allow me this boon, allow me to take care of you for once, with your might I so rarely get the chance.”</p><p>Fili is trying.<br/>
He’s trying to learn Kili’s ways.<br/>
He’s trying to be a good mate.</p><p>Someday he might be better at it, but for now Kili let’s him win.<br/>
After all, Fili might stop trying if he never has any success, never gets his way.<br/>
And that would be a shame.</p><p>Fili is the weirdest being that Kili has ever met.<br/>
He is infuriating, frustrating, and often weird and alien in his reasons and actions.<br/>
But he’s Kili’s mate, and that is more important than even the hunt.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmarvel">girlmarvel</a> for asking me what color Kili's scales are and giving me the idea for this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why is your tail changing color?”</p><p>Fili doesn’t need to see Kili’s lifted eyebrow to know he probably should have asked that question much, much earlier into their relationship.</p><p>But he hasn’t. So many strange things about Kili that it hadn’t mattered. What’s one more oddity?</p><p>But he’s trying to do better, he’s trying to understand, and Kili is leaving his coils out more often in private now, too. The least he can do is ask why they kept changing.</p><p>“It’s useful. A mix of camouflage for the hunt and emotional response. Well, or attraction. Remember the gold when we met? That’s a good way to distract someone, let down their guard. Most people automatically look at gold, glittering things.”</p><p>“And the black is the camouflage then, right? For when you need to not be seen.”</p><p>Well, it isn’t truly black, Kili’s a bit too vain for that.<br/>
The tiny scales feel warm under his hand, and shimmer in the candlelight, a rainbow in a dark night, both stunning and yet impossible to see unless one looks for it.</p><p>“Technically. Like I said, it’s part emotional. I can force a color change by adjusting my emotions, but the sheen for example is a sign of my state of mind, the subconscious part even I can’t fully control. And I’m not really hunting right now, am I?” A coy look, a smile, showing just the beginnings of a fang.</p><p>Fili snorts.</p><p>“You are definitely hunting <i>my</i> tail right now. I’m not blind. You aren’t draped like that for nothing.” He adds a laugh, a warm grin to take the sting away.<br/>
Fili doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind at all.<br/>
“So black is for horny or otherwise hungry for something, and the kind of sheen also says something? I want to understand.”</p><p>Kili seems to be caught between the want to get to the parts he’s hungry for and the outright glee he always portrays when Fili asks him questions.</p><p>The tail changes color. </p><p>The rainbow sheen remains, but the black changes to a vibrant golden yellow, glittering like a mountain of well-polished coins. Some black remains at the edges, reacting to his hand, swirling where he touches. It’s mesmerizing to watch. Perhaps it means Kili enjoys having his bigger tail stroked as well?</p><p>“You like it when I touch your scales?”</p><p>“Mhhh.” Kili answers, letting his eyes fall shut and his head fall back. Showing his throat, showing vulnerability and intimacy.<br/>
“I’m not used to it, not used to anything but the squirming of prey. But this feels nice. Like acceptance.“</p><p>It does. Fili couldn’t have imagined willingly touching those scales in the beginning, and had frankly been relieved when Kili had hid them more and more. The rush of shame is familiar these days, as is Kili’s almost instant reaction, hand in his hair, stroking, cradling his head. It’s soothing, comforting, and Fili leans into it without a second thought. Kili doesn’t need to say it anymore, but the message is still clear. ‘Look forward, not behind. Learn from it and do better in the future.’</p><p>Fili’s glad for the things he understands without words now, as much as he will probably always ask for confirmation more than he needs to.</p><p>The colors change again, a brilliant blue, followed by emerald green, by deep royal purple and-</p><p>“Now your just showing off. I have never seen you change colors so much or so fast before.”</p><p>Kili laughs, bright and happy, and the tail settles back into a mix of gold with a hint of  black.</p><p>“Of course I am. I need to show you what’s possible, don’t I? But I’m not going to tell you the emotion for each. Have to keep some secrets.” </p><p>The mischievous spark in Kili's eyes brings a pleasant rush of warmth to Fili’s stomach.</p><p>A challenge, a game.</p><p>He loves that they can have this now, no uncertainty left between them. </p><p>Taking careful note of the green specks spreading among the gold he brings his lips to the coils, explores the smooth scales under his tongue and slowly makes his way upwards, eyes never leaving his mates.</p><p>Kili’s pupils are blown wide and as black as his tail by the time Fili arrives at his intended destination, and all thoughts of colors or differences are left behind.</p>
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